Saturday, April 7, 2012

Friday, April 6, 2012

Me, right now....

Chinese

Health Hazard

Breaking GIFs

One of my favorite comedians, Paul Scheer, just created a Breaking Bad related tumblr. Peep game:


Google Glass



Some rapid fire thoughts:

  1. How long till there are laws preventing people from wearing these while driving because there are multi car pile ups in every highway 5 minutes after this comes out.
  2. Doesn't this seem like "Minority Report" come to life? How long till we arrest people for murders that they are about to commit?
  3. I'm going to feel like Levar Burton in "Star Trek: The Next Generation" if I ever get my hands on these.
  4. I feel like the internet and computers are both making our lives easier and stopping us from truly exploring it at the same time. 

New G.O.O.D. Music Tracks ("Mercy" featurning Kanye, Big Sean, Pusha T, & 2 Chains and "Theraflu" by Kany West)



Wednesday, April 4, 2012

A Restaurant That's Named After What I'm Thinking All The Time...

awesome pictures

Hypno Walter White

Rear Window Timelapse


Rear Window Timelapse from Jeff Desom on Vimeo.

This is a timelapse video that chronicles everything that happens in each of the buildings in the same order as seen in Alfred Hitchcock's Rear Window. If you've never seen this film, you need to get your weight up immediately. 

Break it down....

daily dumpage

Pulled Mary J. Blige Burger King Commercial



Ughhhhh

The Unibrow Lives!

Ted (Trailer)

My Thoughts on Facepaint at Sporting Events...

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Killer Mike & El-P - Don't Die



If I die before this album comes out, I'll be hella pissed. 

Tracy Morgan and Twitter

Antarctica

My President Has Swag



I Need to Relax and Take Notes....

awesome pictures

Now I need to find the equivalent for females between the ages of 23-35.

Aziz Ansari's 50 Cent and Grapefruit Story



Buy Aziz's new hour long standup for $5 at his website.

Marvin Gaye's Birthday Would've Been Yesterday...

Thursday, March 29, 2012

Ron Burgandy Plays Flute, Announces Anchorman 2

Will Smith - Miami (Music Video)



Won't be posting for a few days because I'll be enjoying some rays. 

I'll Play the Shit Outta This....

My Mentality....

The Motherfucking Pterodactyl

Historical and Life Changing....


Not really but I'm sure a couple of my boys are extremely excited about this...

Would Ponder a Name Change at This Point...

Going to Miami for the Weekend....

Saturday, March 24, 2012

Despair In the Mushroom Kingdom....

There are two brothers that used to come to my pharmacy all the time. They are 13 and 10 years old and they are some of the sweetest kids that roll through the store. They don't cause any trouble, they don't have any sass or attitude about them, and they don't have a bad bone in their body. I hook them up with Dum Dums every time I see them because.....well.......just because. They call me "Mario" because the day they met me, I was wearing a red shirt and we were talking about Super Mario Kart and how'd wax the floor with them if we ever played. I nicknamed them "Wario" and "Luigi". 

Two weeks ago, their mother died....from pancreatic cancer. She died at the age of 36 years old. So young...and she left behind three kids (they have a sister that I barely see and I don't know why) and a husband, who happens to work all day and night to provide for his family so the kids pretty much take care of themselves when they get back from school. Well, actually Luigi takes care of the fam while Pops is making dough to keep the family afloat. At least, that's what he told me today when I saw them for the first time in a couple weeks today. I'm at the pharmacy on my computer, surfing the net, looking for stupid videos and pictures to post on BPB when, out of nowhere, I hear "MARIO!!!". I see Luigi and Wario walking into the pharmacy for some prescriptions for their family. I fill them while they get their haircuts next door and when they come back, I shoot the shit with them for a minute. I'm about to leave for lunch when Luigi bellows "Mario, we want to buy some candy!"

"I don't know, Luigi. You kinda caught me just as I was about to leave for lunch." 

Of course, I was joking so I go over to the candy part of our store and I ask them what they want. A Kit Kat and a Hershey's Cookies and Cream chocolate bar....a typical diet for children their age. Anyways, I give the candy bars to the technician and advise him to give the candy to them for free because of their situation. I start walking out the door when I see them running....trying to catch up to me. I hold the door and they walk with me as I start my commute to the pizzeria. We shoot the shit a little bit more until we get to Walton Avenue. I know they live on this street so I expect to part ways.

"Mario, stick around! Walk us to our apartment!"

"Maaaaaaaan, Luigi. I'm hungry. The only thing on my mind right now is pizza and how to consume it in the most efficient manner possible."

I look at Luigi as he gives me a look that screams distress and loneliness....two feelings that are now a part of their very essence any time they think of their mother. 

"I'm lonely", Luigi says as he is looking into my soul, looking for a sliver of sympathy while his brother kicks the sidewalk with his head down. 

What the fuck do I say to that? Nothing. There is nothing I can say to the pair that can repair the void that that was created by their mother's passing. I didn't think twice, however. I get in between the brothers and I put each of my arms around them and I tell them...

"I'm looking kinda dapper today. If I end up getting mugged, I'm holding the both of you personally responsible."

They laugh and they lead me to their apartment. I walk a block out of my way with them...conversing about stuff that kids like to talk about nowadays. Once I get to the front of their apartment, I let them know that I have a job that requires my presence and that I'm also extremely famished. They nod their head understanding that, considering the circumstances, this was the best I could do. 

I walk away knowing that the best that I could at the moment is not going to replace their mother but hopefully, it gave them some sort of comfort that they were looking for while they mourn their loss. 

This is Why I Hate Rick Santorum....And Why You Should Too

 

 


Rick Santorum
Rick Santorum
 

What is.........This?!?!

Best Soap Dispenser Ever...

 

The Miami Heat Rocking Hoodies In Support of Trayvon Martin



Props to Sherman.

R.I.P. Trayvon Martin

I Don't Think They Care...

 

MOAR....

Cyanide and Happiness, a daily webcomic